


liar’s reflection

by W1F1N1GHTM4R3



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Inner Dialogue, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Shirasagi Chisato, and wrote them all out, hello everyone I’m tired and having cheese toe emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:08:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24208723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/W1F1N1GHTM4R3/pseuds/W1F1N1GHTM4R3
Summary: They stare in the mirror, but the person looking back is not themself. They hate who looks back, but without her, they would not be here.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	liar’s reflection

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I’m tired and full of chisato emotions for no real reason. I would talk about nb chisato for literal ages because it’s a headcanon very dear to me for... reasons that probably aren’t obvious at first. But I’m not going to do that here, so here’s a short little thing I wrote instead.
> 
> This is written in a style me and my friends refer to as “cryptic” but it’s just a fancy term to say “you don’t include the character name at all except for maybe at the end and you make the reader wonder who it is”, except the wondering who it is doesn’t work here, because I already said who it is. So it’s a bit of a weird writing style, but I hope it’s at least a bit of an interesting story!
> 
> (Comment moderation on because I don’t want to deal with rude comments about this)

They stare in the mirror, but the person looking back is not themself. The person in the mirror is the actress the world expects to see, with her perfect blonde hair, shining fuchsia eyes, and constant gentle (yet slightly threatening at the right angle) smile. She is flawless.

That is not who they are.

That is just who the world thinks they are.

They are not anything like that. They may look mostly like the same person, but it isn’t who they are. The girl in the mirror is a false shell. She does not get to be who they want to be. They cannot tell the world that they are not a girl, it will destroy their reputation, and with that, likely destroy the band they love so much.

They are tired and frustrated, she is more energetic, although the distant personality is the single constant. All they want is a chance to rest, to finally take a break. They haven’t had that chance since they were six years old.

They hate the girl in the mirror, because she is what the world knows, and she is nothing like who they are and who they want to be. How they long to get rid of everything that ties them to who they’ve had to be for most of their life, but they cannot, because she has to exist. If they change like they want to, she will die.

But without her, they are forever doomed.

It is a horrible cycle for them. They want to reject her, become someone new, but if she is gone, they will likely lose any chances they had to stand for their choices.

It would be so, so easy to leave her behind. It would be a relief to embrace themself as they truly are.

But they know the world outside would turn against them.

They know they are not truly alone, in the end. Their closest friends know to an extent, their bandmates know to a lesser extent, and they have been accepted there. But the rest of the world is different. It will not be so simple.

The light in the eyes of their reflection has faded, the exhaustion peeking through, and their smile has slipped away. They blink a few times, and force another smile back on. The false shell hardens again, sealing its cracks.

The Chisato Shirasagi the world will see is not who they are, but she is who they must know. They straighten their appearance out one final time, and head out to face the world as the lie the world knows. She’s nothing they want to be, but she will protect them for now.

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone would be interested in listening to me talk more about nb chisato as a concept let me know and I’ll probably post some stuff about it on [my twitter?](https://twitter.com/W1F1N1GHTM4R3)


End file.
